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If you are in for an adventure paired with lengthy, quirky, brutal honest thoughts then you are in the right place.

My name is Arisa and was a cosplayer for 12 years in Malaysia before settling down in Kyoto, Japan. Exploring Japan full time has been a long time dream of mine, so let's explore it together!
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Lil Penguin | 9th month

Alot has happened in just a short period of time and i finally found the will and time to pen this down because i'm not only physically exhausted but mentally and emotionally too. What they don't tell you about motherhood are the details because most of it would soon be forgotten leaving bits of vague memories that we would look back and laugh about.  

Remember the term " blood, sweat and tears"?  

No Fire and blood here unless you are the mother of dragons, last i've heard we asian moms/ wives are the crouching tigers and dads are the hidden dragons lol. 

That doesn't just apply to giving birth by the way, it's literally a summary of your whole entire motherhood journey bringing and raising another human being, doing your part as society's contribution so that we don't go extinct (though most of us secretly wish for that because we don't know how to care for earth after all she has given us). 

9 months down the road and i'm already feeling burnt out, though i'm not supposed to (?),  there is just so many things happening at once that i don't know where to start but what i do know is this conflicted feelings i have inside questioning about every human's existence which is not even relevant to today's topic which is about lil penguin's milestones. Sorry baby, i love you but mama is sorta of going through a mental meltdown phase right now as she's typing this entry. 

Okay let's start with yay, the little bub turned 9 months and we are all still in 1 piece, so let's give a big hurray for that. Now like everyone else there are both ups and downs in life, don't believe anyone who says their lives are all just rainbows and sunshines, a definite red flag alert there. 

Weekly Sickness

As you guys know from all my IG story updates, why i've been neglecting almost everything is because lil penguin health isn't exactly top grade. I would blame my poor genes because as a child i'm always the first one to bring home some weird funky viral infection while my siblings caught it next from me (sorry not sorry lol) but it's abit too early to assume that because heck a baby below 1 is DEFINITELY going to be weak as they are still adjusting themselves out here on earth. 

I'm also starting to question how many kinds of viruses are there on earth (mostly just Japan) because lately it's been constant in and out hospital visits, sleepless nights, cries of discomfort and the list goes on and on at this point. Previously it was seasonal flu, which was understandable because the changing of seasons and temperature does affect even us adults but since she entered Hoikuen think this is where the nightmare series of sicknesses started and mom here regrets her decision almost immediately. 

We know there are many selfish parents out there, who constantly dismiss their kid's slight temperature or dripping nose as a "non harmful" condition hence dropping them off at hoikuen because knowing if they had to visit a doctor, they would need to take time off their work schedule. This one selfish act, little did they know they would have unleashed a potential epidemic; like seriously. And kids be kids, they don't know basic hygiene yet, touching everything, sharing saliva toys and all (ugh) but it's supposedly part of "building immunity" period as well but what we didn't expect was ending up with things like random viruses which we don't have vaccination against.  HFMD, Chickenpox & Rotavirus doesn't count because we know those are common among children like all over the world. 

Lil penguin's first full fledge sickness that caused her to be admitted into hospital for almost a week after her high fever of 1 week+ did not subside (despite us visiting the paed every 2 days for monitoring), and we found out she had Human metapneumovirus (hMPV) infection* (like seriously what the heck is this?) which was apparently common during Spring season (she contracted it in June) after i insisted on changing hospitals and getting a blood test done because fevers aren't meant to last more than 1 week. This is why mom instincts are important!

The blood test was a painful one not only for her but for me as well, because she wouldn't stop moving and screaming; making it hard for the doctors to detect her vein. Poked a few rounds until her arm was bruised, and her screams was enough to make anyone cry as well..sh*t can't believe i'm tearing again just typing this out. 
They told us to leave the room because they knew that any parent would interfere with the procedure seeing their baby scream like they have been badly tortured. After that she had her first xray to check her lungs, for that she had to be strapped unto the table and another round of screams. Really not for the faint hearted, it felt as if i've sent my daughter in a torture chamber though all we wanted was to make sure she's alright.  Really need to bertabahlah...it's something beyond our control. 

She was bored, so anything in the hospital room was her toy including this magazine bag cover lol

Initially she didn't need to be hospitalized, that was a few hours before my flight to Malaysia because the doctor said that she is on her last leg of the infection and should make a speedy recovery soon. A day later i got a message from the danna that her fever spiked again (40 degrees) so they admitted her for observation just to be safe because hMPV infections may lead to bronchitis, bronchiolitis or pneumonia. You have no idea how much distress i was in for being so far away from her, regretting my decision of flying to Malaysia wishing i that i have just burned the damn flight ticket instead. Immediately bought another flight ticket home because i know i should be next to her, and of course she would have missed my oppai and just earlier that week i was telling her to say thank you and goodbye to oppai 😔

*hMPV is a recurring infection, getting it once doesn't give you immunity unlike other viral infections like chicken pox/ mumps. Like all viruses antibiotics are useless so there is no exact medication for it but they do have other medications to relieve the symptoms (cough, runny nose, fever). 

So this is her 2nd long hospital stay since after she was born, she did cope quite well and could see that she was a real fighter. Whenever the nurses came in to administer her drips and medication she cooperates well (with me she doesn't. Hmph!) and the good thing about Japan insurance for babies is that their medical treatment is covered so we only had to pay for the room. 

This was just the beginning of the nightmare sickness.

Her recovery took almost 2.5 weeks, she basically skipped half month of Hoikuen but we still had to pay the full monthly fees and we also had to get a signed form from the paed to state that she is clear of the virus.  It's good that the hoikuen practices that but i really wish that other parents would stop being selfish and send their sick kids to school when they clearly should be at home.

That face lol, my feet ain't stinky ok! Please don't berdrama!

For mom it's a round of purging the whole house, washing and disinfecting every single thing that came in contact to lil penguin so after lacking of sleep i still need to do all of this because not like it's going to get itself done (though i wished it did).

A week right after she recovered we brought her to Kyoto botanical park for a walk, the weather was lovely

Same day she met a T-rex too, courtesy of her grandpa lol

Less than 2 weeks later (1st week of July) lil penguin is down again with some fever so another 1 week rest at home and followed by a horrible and painful stomach flu, with another week of home rest before we got another recent diagnosis of RS virus* (another "magical new" term i've learned).
Like will this sicknesses ever end???

Poor girl has been technically on meds since June until today.
Her "recovered" days are less than a week before another round of meds again.

That cool fever patch on her forehead, we lost count how many boxes we went through for the past 2 months.

I've not done so much reading about viruses my entire life until today, like seriously. When the doctors gave us the diagnosis my first reaction was like "whaaaaat?"
Growing up back in Malaysia i remember getting the common flu stuff, and influenza/ SARS was like a different level but i really applaud Japan for having so many weird flu viruses which are considered "Common" in their books. 

RS virus and hMPV is same same but not same apparently. You guys can go google & read up on that, it's honestly baffling because a slight difference makes a whole of difference. Not sure if my sentence is making any sense now😑 but yea, the symptoms are the same, coughing lungs out, dripping faucet nose, fevers up to 40 degrees, lost of appetite for almost a week. 

They live the longest on earth and have these non immunity viruses on a (almost) yearly/ seasonal basis, i'm starting to think Japanese people are superhumans or something. 

So that's technically lil penguin's milestone in a nutshell, always sick and thank you guys for the well wishes and prayers!

Not sure how she found this position comfortable..

Being a stay at home mom to a sick baby is more exhausting than a healthy one.

She got angry that i paid more attention to my pocky than her so she smashed it.
Thanks penguin.

I would like to go on, on topics like how she has been suddenly rejecting solids in between, serious oppai weaning and all but i'm kinda tired so i'll probably leave that for the next entry and catch up on my sleep now.

Yours Truly, 
A tired mama (& papa)

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