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Oh the attention i'm getting! Stop it ya'll *blush*  Can't believe i'm actually sharing this post but yeah..think dee...

Thing People Do Not See : 02

Holla, I'm back with another pathetic life story of mine about my current life issue, well I'm not forcing you to read this so, as usual before i start this long lengthy post I would advise that those who doesn't want to get indulge with my stupid life problems please close the tab :-) Thank you!

I would like to thank all of you guys for your support and comments on my previous "Miserable" Blogpost :'-) Thank you so much!
I feel so much better after reading all of it at least I know I'm not going through this tough period alone because i have support from such awesome friends & followers like you guys *hugs*

As you all know I'm a girl of irony, i can tell people to avoid something but I myself would fall into that trap. I'm not complaining because personally deep down at least I'm happy that i could save someone from doing the same mistakes i did or prevent them before it's too late.

I'm still having my fair share of struggles and this it's almost the 3rd year since I developed this mental issue. I was indeed in denial for as long as i can remember but right now i do realised that my obsession (vanity) has cost me my health. I'm not kidding nor exaggerating about this because on the surface aside from looking like a walking skeleton and stress, I still live life normally that is because all those are just a facade that I put on daily. I have to admit it is the toughest thing to do, being somebody you are not just because you do not want to be judged by others :-( Sorry I'm weak minded and pathetic :-/

My worst nightmare came true :-( 
A most recent photo of me modeling for Pink N Proper during The Butterfly Project last saturday (left) and Isabelle Caro (right)

Gawd...those bones sticking out and I was blinded by the fact due to my vanity/slaps self. In US they would adore my current boney frame (I'm a size 0/XS lol so it's hard for me to find clothes now) and seriously, in photo shoots they look fab but in reality they look like a living nightmare! Not to mention the constant pain and bruises that i get all over my body.

I said that I'll never be like this french model on the right, Isabelle Caro who past was away in 2010 due to anorexia that she battled since she was 13. Her story inspired me to recover but that mindset was just a short term thing, later in 2012  I'll was back to being overly obsessed with losing more weight. You wouldn't believe if I told you my weight right now is 35kg. For my height, 165cm it's abnormally underweight but never gave much of it a thought until I started realising that I'm growing weaker and weaker every single day till the point i fall sick so often and all the signs are showing up.


Okay, so my monthly trip to the psychiatrist is basically to just stabilized my current condition as i tend to go berserk for some reason (why? i will not mention) lol after confessing all of this i feel like I'm such a weirdo -_- I'm not surprised if my fan page or blog followers starts decreasing because yea..you would be wondering "who the heck wanna follow such a screwed up girl?" LOL

This place looks familiar? :-D

The only thing i hate visiting doctors are the long waits =_= waited nearly 2 hours before it was my turn and i was the 2nd patient there. Heck.

And before leaving the hospital, the only thing the doctor to me is not to lose anymore weight until my next visit. Ha. Ha. I'm laughing.

It's a tough to estimate whether you are taking in enough calories a day for your body to function or not because not everything has a calorie label at the back on the packaging. Sadly in Malaysia most processed food doesn't even have their nutrient value  or ingredients stated at the back of their packaging and yet we consumers are ignorant to the fact that we are actually feeding our body with god knows what kind of stuffs -_- lol

But then it came to me that I nearly forgot that my Samsung Galaxy S4 has the built in free S Health application that helps monitor your daily calorie intake and amount of exercise needed in order to lose/maintain your ideal weight. Hallelujah for that! Because now I can eat outside without any worries ;-)
All I have to do is just type in the name of the particular i had and it will search the food database  for me (you can pre-set your own as well if the food can't be found on the database)


Next time you go grocery shopping, try looking at the labels on the back of the can/box instead of just the expiry date lol. You would be surprised that half the stuff stated at the back is not something you have heard of or known existed. Like i mentioned, most pre-packaged food in Malaysia have the tendency to exclude this lil bit of consumer information because they think it's not important.Wtf. 
That doesn't happen overseas as far I'm concern because they practice "consumer rights" unlike us who barely even know what that word means lol.

S4's useful free S health app!

Yay! Reached passed my goal! *pops confetti*

So far I guess my progress has been rather fine? I've been eating more if you stalk in my Instagram (@Arisa_Chow) you would notice I've been spamming it with pictures of yummy food XDD hehe~
But there are times I still get overly cautious of the food i eat because I'm not sure whether I'm overeating (binging) or feeding off my insane cravings that has been accumulated over the years lol.  

Hopefully I'll recover soon because eating meds are like the most horrible things in the world :-(
Looking nice in clothes is one thing but the price to pay for it is horrendous.
If you girls need someone to talk to about problems like these feel free to drop me an email (arisa1443@gmail.com), I'll be more than glad to help you girls out. Screw judgmental people, the only thing that matters is for you being yourself and knowing you are comfortable in your own skin :-)

Cheers!










XOXO,

CONVERSATION

14 comments :

Jean said...

=) i am one of those who love seeing you post food photo on ur instagram account. eat more girl~ and cheer up!

Eleanor-Jacinta Lean Siew Foong said...

good to know you are slowly getting back on track :)

4DGirl said...

As a psychology student The only thing I can say is that the most important step you already made it: To recognize your problem. Sounds stupid but recognize that you have a problem and try to fix it is the most important step. This battle is a hard one but you can kill those demons. n.n good luck and eat. ^o^

myownworld said...

glad to see you back

illy ariffin said...

takce care n b strong <3

perompakjr said...

I've watch a documentary about Isabelle Caro, it so sad that happened to her, as your fan, i hope you will get your ideal weight and always healthy so you can keep doing cosplay and we as fans can keep seeing you enjoying your cosplay, remember that lot of your fans/follower out there will always support you, be strong and i hope you will recover soon x) cheers

Farisha Nadia said...

Be who you are dear. i know it's easier said than done, and I can't imagine the pressure you have especially in the work that you do. In the end though, you can't always please everybody and even if you can doesn't guarantee that you'll be happy. So i guess you should focus on loving yourself without any expectations or conditions. Whatever it is, we are here for you <3

Aby Yen said...

my little bunny, get well soon. i almost cant believe what i see in my eye. eat more and be healthy, gambateh

Winnie Yeoh said...

Hope that you get well soon :) Ignore the negative comments and focus on the love from those around you. You are stronger than you know xoxo

Hilda Milda™ said...

Keep calm and eat more :D You'll do just fine!

Tammy Miu said...

Hope u get well soon Lisa.. i know you know what's right for you so I never want to step into your boundaries. It's hard to recover once you go into this phase, but with might and strength you will come out of it.

However body you are, you still rock the runaway. Size zero is wanted in USA but I would prefer you to be healthy and happy with your life.

Time to relax babe.

Michele said...

Hey Lisa Dear, support you!you are so brave to confess here haha!

Gillian Ong said...

Very inspiring post dear, I've nominated you for the liebster award, for more info please go to :

http://gilliannong.blogspot.com/2013/07/liebster-award.html

Edazz Lucinda said...

Hye babe, hope ur doing fine. Although I just met you (twice to be exact) I do enjoy talking to you and exchange stories with you. The reason I comment here is, I want you to know that you are not alone. You have all of us, surrounding you and you are free to contact us if you need us to support you. Life can be tough! yes and do take note each of us has gone to that "part". Whatever past let it past and you need to stand strong and think straight for your future. Put your head up and think the best for yourself babe. Future is always there for you dear. Wish to see you in future event and Congrats for winning the Delicious DKNY perfume yaa.. =) Leave the bad thought and stay positive. xoxo

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