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Oh the attention i'm getting! Stop it ya'll *blush*  Can't believe i'm actually sharing this post but yeah..think dee...

Human "Heart" Shaped Cake

WARNING: Not for the faint hearted, this post consists of blood and gore. Please proceed with caution. You have been warned!

You know what's funny, around the same time i posted an entry about "successfully" making no bake chocolate pudding for Valentine's and miraculously it didn't kill anyone of my guy friends who ate them lol despite it looking like black shit (really).
Even gave it to my best friend who came back all the way from UK for a brief visit, made him finish the whole thing in front of me haha! But really, he never did responded "my love" with any gifts on White Valentine's (on 13th March) so i concluded he hated it lolol. But we will see about this year after he broke my "fragile" (yea, right) precious heart *sobs*- I'm such a drama queen aren't I? Lol.

Thanks Facebook for reminding me my cooking Skills SUCK. Just like my first cosplay character which was Akane Tendo from Ranma 1/2 lol.
Original blogpost HERE, looking back i somewhat feel so proud of my sudden "upgraded" skills lol wtf, sorry can't help but feeling so proud of my nonsense XD


It's been ages since i last baked or made anything for anyone so this year i finally mustered up my laziness and got my ass in the kitchen for some late night baking and this was after Valentine's, sorry i kinda abit slow la to celebrate. Was actually down in Melaka for the weekend showing my Japanese friend around my hometown with a help of my old friend whom we met during our Tenshi Cafe (in E@ Curve, 2011) days, congrats to him on his engagement! How time flies and seeing all my friends progress with their lives while i am just the same ol' girl here still trying to figure out what to do with myself lol sorry i failed at problem solving la.

This actually started out as a joke after i saw the video going viral on Facebook and shared with my bestie that it is possible to make a "heart shaped" cake molded exactly like a heart. Not just any heart but a HUMAN HEART lol, yep. Sounds cannibal-ish enough? lol.
Being the mother of dragons *ahem* eating hearts has never been a problem for me but of course 
only for the baby :P


The heart of my enemies, shall be shoved down their own throats, teehee (‘∀’●)♡
This is the finished product of my labor of love, isn't it a beauty? *perasan*
Inspired from How.To.Cake.It


Only Game of Thrones fans would get this reference haha wtf, but other than that no blood for me please. Can't even stand the sight of period, makes me want to gag every single time during that time of the month, opps. Sorry for bringing up such gross topic in a food post :-P

Let me clarify first that i am no baker, but i do create creative stuff with my pair of hands and mostly fabric related stuff or art in general.
So i can't really vouch for the taste of this cake which was supposed to be a brownie but i feel la in my own personal opinion that it is at least edible haha wtf. 

This baking too place around midnight so it was rather spontaneous, really and i honestly didn't feel like making this at all at first since the very first reason is because i suck with cooking or baking unless it's instant noodles or boiling an egg.
But since the ingredients were already bought last week and i somewhat kinda promised my bestie that i would make one for him after he broke my heart this year, so heck I told myself  "no excuses and just bloody make it you lazy fart!"


Kinda tweaked the recipe abit since i didn't have the exact materials nor ingredients at hand, all these were gotten in cold storage, not exactly your baker friendly mart for baking supplies.


Took the brownie mixture because on the box says it's easy to make, just dump in water, oil & an egg into the powder mixture and mix'em well, pop into the oven and Viola!
Sounds easy right?  But instead of oil i replaced it with old mashed up banana puree which works quite well and an oil substitute (for paranoid people like me) and you can even use this puree to glaze your baking sheet to prevent your goods from sticking to the paper. Ain't i a genius? :D

The Marzipan part was tricky because in the video the original decorations for the cake are fondants and that is something i was kinda lazy to make from a scratch so i tried to improvise abit using marzipan. They did have ready made fondants but it was way too expensive and there was no icing sugar in sight, after some last minute google research while squatting by the baking isle like i was taking a dump lol, i have decided to use Marzipan since they say it gives a nice tasting smooth layer to work with before putting a fondant (since most fondants are not so edible, just deco purposes)


Mix that shit together, no high tech electric mixer?
No problem, there are such thing called manual labor lazy bums :D
Couldn't feel my arms trying to get this mixture as smooth as possible, so i stirred it with an egg whisker for about 10-15 minutes. Add in red 2 table spoons of food coloring to make this shit look like some red velvet cake.

Dumped them into a porcelain bowl and into the AIRFRYER, sorry no oven but the airfryer works.
Make sure it's preheated to the highest temperature before hand and airfry it for about 30-40 minutes with "stabbing" breaks in between to make sure the insides are done.  Came out looking and tasting like a cake instead of a brownie, premix you guys cheated my feelings! *flips table*



After cutting of the edges, trying to get my cake base to look like an actual human heart (use google as your friendly reference) surprisingly it does look somewhat like those commercial looking heart ♥ lol wtf 


Roll out those huge sucker arteries.


Time to roll out the Marzipan, i only used half a packet for this so the other half is currently rotting in my fridge now since i have no idea what to do with it lel. I used about 1-2 table spoon of tasteless & odorless red food coloring (Australian brand) which is the most freaking $$#@! expensive bottle of food coloring ever bought, about RM10 for a tiny bottle! But at least there is not funky taste or smell to it unlike our local made ones that are sold for RM1 a bottle.
This part can be rather frustrating since i did not have icing sugar to prevent the marzipan from sticking all over the baking sheet, but what i did learn is while you are playing, i mean molding the marzipan with your hands like playDoh, make sure your hands are slightly wet to prevent them from making a sticky mess. 

Nearly gave up and threw the damn marzipan away, now i know why fondants are easier to work with and less hassle/mess =.=


Doesn't have to be perfect or smooth, slight bumps all over creates the illusion of "veins" i guess?

Details are important so make sure you have the holes in the arteries as well XD
Or it's just me who is anal about details.

For the "Period" like blood clots, double boil your baking chocolate and mix'em with the same red food coloring (use so much of red coloring that i am sure you shit is going to be red too, lol wtf), just "agak-agak" until you are satisfied with the color mixture. Looks exactly like the blood on your period pads no ladies? :D


If you are looking for a more "water-y" like blood just mix with some water to dilute it, smear it all over your heart like you are painting a masterpiece, well technically you are actually creating a work of art lol wtf. Let me rephrase that "ART" XD
And enjoy presenting this heart to the asshole who broke your heart, make sure he/she finishes it with their bare hands while you sit back and gleefully record the traumatizing ordeal :)
It's killing with so much sweetness and chocolate that it could easily make one scared of desserts the rest of their lives.

So don't you agree now when they say "REVENGE IS SWEET"?



Remember folks, DETAILS matters!

 I, Khaalesi the Mother of Dragons, hereby present to you the heart of my enemy (ˆ⌣ˆԅ)
Khal Drogo, please notice me! *shy*


Yuummmmmmyyyyyyy~


Feel free to watch the whole video by How To Cake It!

XOXO,

CONVERSATION

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