This isn't something i want to even write about, but felt it was necessary to pen it down for lil parasite's future read when he/she gave me a heart attack earlier this month when it decided to stop moving for 24 hours. Not even the usual heartbeat which can be seen when i lie down flat on my back (my tummy usually has a rhythmic movement), that was the scariest moment of my life and for every single expecting mother, i am sure. This is my first time, so forgive me for being so paranoid and all but as a mother we rely alot on our instict (gut feeling) to tell when something isn't right and that has never failed us so far but some of course prefer the 100% assurance by going for scans to make sure everything is alright before even having a breather.
How it all started is when i realized lil parasite hasn't moved one bit throughout the whole day as i was too occupied with work to eat nor drink enough water (had a bun in the morning, and couple of sips here & there till night time) it usually gives me random nudges here and there, also it's too early for me to keep track of how many kungfu kicks it gives me daily according to my obgyn during my last scan.
Before you guys start nagging me about my negligence towards my health, try to put yourself in my shoes especially when i have to juggle multiple jobs with tight deadlines in order to save up for my kid, of course donations are welcome, by all means lel. If not don't bark like a dog when you can't even help with the situation, you are just being a nuisance really.
This was a weird dejavu moment because not too long ago, a friend of mine who's expecting too posted a video about her baby scare moment as the baby wasn't moving at all and she's about 32 weeks at that time, isn't too far off from popping already. It was heart breaking to see how worried she was as her partner was at the other corner of the world, but in the end it wasn't anything serious.
It hit me really hard that this could happen to me (or anyone) anytime and who can i turn to when that happens because i am alone with no one to assure me.
True enough THAT SCARE did happen, i was panicking so badly as it was really late at night when i realized of the MIA movements from lil parasite.
Naturally, my first instict was to call up my mom and ask her for advice but as usual she isn't reachable because of the stupid house location is built on top of a hill that barely has any telco signal = = really, emergency also can't get her. Tried calling some friends who are nearby, but also couldn't reach any of them so i was really on my own for this. Think i would be one of those special cases where i have to drive myself to the hospital next time when my water breaks because i can never reach anyone in time of need -_- #bugger
Decided to turn to Facebook (where all the night owls are) and ask some of my friends who are mothers whether lil parasite's quiet condition is normal or not, true enough everyone told me to go for a check up because one can't be too sure especially when you can't see what's going on inside.
The whole night i was up thinking of the worst, trying to calm myself down while sobbing like a mad person, sorry lil parasite :(
You are my whole world to me right now, and i can't afford to loose you ever, don't think i will be able to come to terms if you decided to give up on me just like that when i am not giving up on you just yet. All i want is you in my arms, to hold your hand on your first baby steps, see you off to school and one day leave the nest to see the world on my behalf, so don't you ever DARE give up on me. We are fighters, stubborn people who refuse to give up so don't be like your father who gave up on you even before meeting you in person.
The following day, i didn't have time to go to the clinic as workload and meetings were piling up and there was still no kick from the lil parasite, that's definitely more than 24 hours in total. Well.. crying the whole night, telling myself to prepare for the worst did help take my mind off of the problem for awhile till i get it verified at the clinic nearby my office.
In the meantime i was downing as much cold water as i could and lunch i had tons of spicy food as this advice came up a few times by everyone around me. Saying that my lil parasite could probably be in a "deep sleep" which needed a lil jump to wake it up, true enough after lunch the lil guy started having faint movements again. Hallelujahhhhh!!!
Saved on clinic ultrasound bills lol XD
Sorry lil parasite, mommy's short on cash at that time since it was end of the month & was still waiting for pay to be out but really, was it necessary to scare the shit outta your mom like that?
Going for monthly check ups is already pricey enough, so please don't ever pull pranks like that again. EVER.
So now the fella is kickin' the hell outta me, not complaining about having a constant moving belly and i should rename my lil parasite to lil worm because it's crawling non stop inside my womb lol. Upgrade bug level liao haha!
The difference of belly size in just the span of 2 weeks does amazes me, in fact this whole journey still feels surreal, i am creating another life in me and soon enough it would be an independent being who doesn't need me anymore in less than 4 months. So gotta enjoy this moment as much as i can before i start missing it end of this year :')
I am really convinced this lil guy is doing some sort of baby kung fu in there because of the random kicks all over my belly it's like its turning 360 degrees every time it moves lol and it sleeps odd hours like me too D:
Should write a book in the future titled "MOTHERHOOD- What is Sleep?" lol but first you gotta pardon all my grammatical mistakes haha! Like the local saying goes- "Asal paham, sudahlah~*"
*As long the message gets across clearly, that's all that matters.
In the meantime, i did get questions like what app i was using to keep track of my lil parasite's progress since i was constantly updating cute snapshot progresses on my personal Facebook timeline, I actually came across it by accident in google playstore (available on iOS too). It's called Ovia Pregnancy, a free preggers tracking app that updates you daily on your baby's progress and also gives you useful health advises on your body changes and nutritional needs.
PREGGERS PET PEEVES:
Oh and now with the worries aside, here is something that most mothers can relate to:-
One of the pet peeves i have during pregnancy is strangers touching my belly without permission!
I know it's small but please it's like me grabbing your boobs or ass :-/
Have some respect for expecting mothers and keep those itchy hands to yourselves people! Nobody likes to be grope by strangers or "acquaintances", you CAN ask for permission (which i am usually fine with it) but not randomly rubbing my belly out of the blue. My normal reaction is i would usually slap people who touch me in inappropriate places, but time and time again i have to remind myself the world is filled with inconsiderate idiots so just tell them off politely instead of giving them the direct slap. Unless they don't get the message then it calls for drastic measures la, seriously it feels like i am constantly being molested by people and it's annoying as hell.
How many expecting mothers feel the same? Let's have a show of hands!
Same goes to cheek pinching, i grew up HATING my relatives and strangers doing that to me because it hurts like f*ck and yet they think it's adorable to pinch children's cheeks. As a kid, i can't say to an elder to back off as that would be deemed "rude" but if anyone does that to my kid aside from me, they would regret the day they hands.
So if you value your limbs, keep them to yourselves not rub your germ infected grubby hands all over others. We don't want to know where has it been (like wiping your ass) *shudders*
Second most annoying thing is having to pee every 1-2 hours even if i drank less than 500ml of water, can't blame my bladder when there's a 500g lil parasite there holding it down lol, it's just my worst nightmare is getting stuck in a jam on the highway with no petrol station in sight. Can't hold my pee that long anymore despite having an iron bladder before my pregnancy lol wtf. So worried that i would constantly wet myself in public every time a sudden sneeze or cough appears out of nowhere -_-/ sheessshhh!
So that's all for my lil parasite update, going into 26 weeks soon and due for my next obgyn visit soon! Getting more nervous than excited at this point because it's less than 4 months more before i will feel the pain of my entire life lol, apparently giving birth pain is equivalent to breaking all the bones in your body at the same time. If one fracture already have you wailing "mommy", imagine all 206 pieces of bones snapping at once 8D